The Catholic Perspective

5 Relationship Rules: Communicate, Communicate, Communicate

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Communicate, got it! NOOO… do not skip this post, this rule is not only required for all relationships, it’s a prerequisite to the rest of the rules. ’Communicate’ is what many think they understand, but even I do on occasion screw it all up. We will assume you need the ability to communicate in order to be in any form of relationship.

Well, let’s define what is it to communicate? Webster defines it as “a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior.” If you take notice that definition does not indicate formal language written or spoken. In many relationships you may not need to speak or write to communicate efficiently this is especially true in romantic relationships.

One example of communicating without speaking is when I play fetch with my dogs. Below I have a list of hand commands:
Stop, pay attention to me
Sit
Stay, wait
Fetch what I am pointing at
This list illustrates the command and the response I should receive from my dogs. If my dogs are not trained I will not receive the proper response. Makes sense, but what does training a dog have to do with communicating and your romantic relationship?

A lot, since communication involves how to respond, accordingly. With dogs we purposely train them to follow commands, but as people we train people not on purpose.In my own relationship I have trained Stephanie to be aware that I am happy, sad, mad, or upset. For instance, Stephanie will understand how to respond, or not respond to me based on the situation and past events she learned how I respond back.Another example is when we started to date. Stephanie hates to be tickled and did not communicate that to me at first. Because she never told me, when we first started dating I did it a lot. Eventually she told me and I stopped. If I do tickle her today I know I will get her mad at me so I refrain, even though it kills me because I enjoy seeing her laugh.

Sounds simple enough… communicate and you will have a lasting relationship. As I mentioned earlier, you still can have a bad relationship this rule is a prerequisite to the rest. Communication is a basic rule to any successful relationship. A more advance topic of ‘communicate, communicate, communicate’ is efficient communication and intimacy within romantic relationship. So how do you communicate effectively?  As with my dogs they have to focus on the command, and from my own life you have to listen, but do you really think you’re listening? Can you present me with any examples of when you have communicated effectively, and times you have? Please leave a comment, next week I will try to answer the question, “Do you listen, really?”

Posted by Catholic Chump on 08/04 at 12:00 PM in Relationship, (0) Comments